


Purple Hyacinth

by Mosspool13



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Polynein Vibes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 09:25:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17041136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mosspool13/pseuds/Mosspool13
Summary: Jester gets some visitors post near-death by dragon[Includes cuddles, regret, apologies and forgiveness]





	Purple Hyacinth

**Author's Note:**

> [Spoilers for Episode 45]
> 
> Canon Compliant up to Episode 45
> 
> I wanted to post this during the hiatus but work kicked me in the butt. This is just something fluffy I wanted to write post-dragon fight, and I couldn't resist adding a little Polynein.

Jester is pretending to sleep when Beau enters the room. The soft creak of the door and the near-silent pad of her feet is the only indication that she has entered. Jester tries to keep her eyes closed tight, her breathing still but Beau pauses in her movements towards her bedroll and then cautiously, in a way so unlike Beau, she asks, "Jester? You alright?"

It's an almost mimicry of her concern after the whole... incident. Beau is much softer this time, perhaps because they are alone now, and Jester heaves out her held breath because she knows she can't hide when Beau is being this soft. "Yeah, of course I am."

"That's bullshit, and you know that I know that you're lying to me." She says, calling back to their previous conversation.

"I am a very good liar." Jester says, again, just like before, quiet but this time, Beau doesn't let her get away with it. Beau plops down next to her, her body wound tight with concealed emotion and tension.

" _Stop it_." Beau says, fierce.

Jester turns around in her bedroll to look at Beau. Beau is stern and frowning, with her mouth pinched tight with disapproval. "That was some fucked up shit, Jessy. You have to admit that. And it didn't help that I was off fucking--" Beau bites off what she was going to say but Jester knows what the end of that sentence was going to be.

She sits up. "You didn't know the ball was gonna do that, Beau. None of us did. You were the first to touch it."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't fucking mean much when the rest of you are fighting in a dragon's den." She spits.   

Jester isn't upset with Beau for leaving. It had been entirely unpredictable and an accident, and Jester knows Beau. "Don't be upset over it, okay." She says, smiling as best she can at Beau. She pats her bedroll. "If you want, I'll even let you sleep with me tonight."

Beau looks down at where Jester is patting her blankets and cushions and then quite suddenly she throws herself into the covers, snuggling up in the pillows. Jester stares down at her in surprise and Beau stares back, defiant. "What? You offered."

Jester grins, slipping back into her covers and wrapping them around the two of them so they are all nice and cozy. "Do you want to cuddle, Beau?"

"I'm not much of a cuddler. But I can try." Beau says, honest and not what Jester was expecting her to say. Jester's grin widens and she feels much happier since escaping by the skin of her teeth. She wraps her arms around Beau's torso and Beau wraps hers around Jester's neck, looking contemplative but not uncomfortable.

Jester snickers. "You are a great cuddler, Beau! You hug in all the right places."

Beau snorts. "Yeah, well, I've had practice."

Jester wiggles her eyebrows. "With Keg? Or other lady friends?"

Beau rolls her eyes but before she answers, a soft knock has them both looking up at the door. It is partially ajar, having opened at some point while they were talking, and a familiar shape is peering through it, looking wary and uncertain.

"Fjord." Jester says, feeling the tightness and unhappiness she'd been trying to push down start to creep back up again.

"I didn't want to interrupt." He says, voice low. "Can I... can I come in?"

Jester looks to Beau but Beau just raises an eyebrow at her in response. Jester looks back up at Fjord. "I'm... I'm okay with that."

"Same." Beau says, disentangling from around Jester and putting a little bit of distance between them, seemingly. But, Jester feels Beau's hand wrap tightly around her wrist, her thumb swiping across her pulse point once before moving away. Emboldened, Jester sits up and beckons to Fjord to come closer. He does, closing the door behind him, slowly and uncertainly, like a skittish animal. He stands awkwardly above them, his expression contrite.

"You can sit down, Fjord." Jester says, politely. Fjord nods, and takes a seat beside the bedroll on Beau's side, and Jester's mouth tightens. _Coward_ , she thinks, a little bitterly, but doesn't really mean it and instantly she wants to un-think it but she can't help but feel a little bit justified. After all, at the end of the day, the only one who'd stayed was Nott. She's not mad at Beau or Caleb though. Beau had left unintentionally, and she hadn't even seen Caleb at all, didn't know he had even been there at all, blinked out as she was, and only knew because Nott was there (and where Nott was, Caleb usually was too). So, really, Jester tells herself, it's entirely justified.

Fjord clears his throat, and Jester watches Beau shift over so that she can face him too, and that makes Jester feel a little better. Like the two of them are facing him together and not just her alone.

"I wanted to come an' see how you were holdin' up. After... everythin'." His accent is thicker than Jester is used to, and she can't tell if he's doing that on purpose or if the emotion is making his words all slur together. "I feel responsible for the whole thing."

"You should." Beau cuts in, blunt, in that way of hers. "Touching things you shouldn't be touching, and all."

"Yeah." He'd been looking down this whole time and now he lifts his eyes to meet Jester's gaze. His eyes are expressive enough that Jester can see his honest shame in them. "I wasn't really thinkin'. I just was curious about the map, and didn't think before I touched." He chuckles lowly, hollowly, "too curious for my own good." Their gazes meet again and Jester is reminded of Fjord's piercing eyes and his and Caleb's hands clasped together over a dais, their own blood clotting the water around them. 

"You should really work on that, Fjord." Jester says, trying to go for light but missing by a margin. She purses her mouth and tries again, hoping her smile looks genuine. "But no harm done, okay, we all got out alright!"

Fjord doesn't seem convinced by her words, in fact, he looks pained. He leans down out of Jester's view, hiding from her and making her throat tighten with dismay.  

"I don't want any of that to ever happen again. No gettin' in dragon fights or gettin' kidnapped, or..." he trails off, and Jester hears him swallow.

"No more recklessness." Jester says, quietly, into the silence.

"Yeah." There's something rough about his voice, low and deep and just this side of scratchy. Jester leans over Beau's shoulder to get a look at him. Fjord has an arm covering his eyes, his mouth tight with emotion. One of his tusks is just faintly peeking out of the corner of his mouth.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Jester." He says, choked as thought he is trying to speak through a lump in his throat. His shoulders quiver once. 

Beau is facing Fjord, her expression a mixture of pity and empathy. Her brow is scrunched up too, her nose wrinkling as if she is forcing back a cry of her own. "Fuck." She says succinctly and then presses up against Fjord's side, her face pressing harshly into his elbow. "Don't fucking cry. God." Her voice is rough and deeper than Jester's ever heard it and then her shoulders start to shake too, and then she and Fjord are curled around each other, holding each other while they start to cry and Jester can feel her eyes stinging just looking at them.

"It's okay." She says, trying to calm them, help them, somehow. "I'm okay. I'm alive."

Fjord's hand reaches up towards Jester's face where he has it curled around Beau's shoulder, his fingers touching her cheek and then cupping her jaw. His yellow eyes are just visible above Beau's hair, rimmed red. "Yeah." He says, deep, "you're alive."

Jester cries then. She'd been holding it in as much as she could for Beau, when she'd come in, and then Fjord's arrival, but now they were freely trailing down her cheeks like running water. It was an ugly cry. She knew she was an ugly crier, not like Fjord who still looked so pretty and Beau who never showed her face. She tried to hide herself but Fjord wouldn't let her go, his hand almost too tight on her face.

"Don't," he said, almost fearfully. "Don't go away, closer. We need you closer."

"Yeah, yeah, ok." She says and crushes herself against Beau's back, arms curling around so she can reach Fjord's shoulder. Fjord has his arm over them both, hand cupping Jester's neck now and his nose is buried in Beau's shoulder so he can look over her at Jester. Beau is still refusing to show her face, her shoulders trembling more fiercely now with near violent shudders.

"I was so scared." Jester says, finally honest. "I thought I was going to die."

"Shut up! You weren't going to die." Beau says, muffled and angry. She turns around in Fjord's arms to glare up at Jester, her eyes are very red and her cheeks are mottled with tear tracks. Fjord's shirt has a dark wet patch where Beau had smashed her face into it. It's almost fascinating to look at. Beau is scowling and her eyes are fierce but the vulnerable curl of her shoulders and the way she is trembling make Jester feel like she wants to cling to Beau and hold her.

Beau is so very rarely vulnerable.

"You weren't going to die." Beau repeats, hands curled in fists, one bunched around Fjord's shirt and the other on her chest. Jester reaches forward to curl her hand around Beau's fist. Beau's face twitches.

"You weren't going to die." Beau repeats, harsher this time. "Because I would have fucking worked out that stupid ball and gone back and dragged you home from out of that dragon's clutches."

"I know, Beau." Jester says, smiling through the tears. Beau's face twitches again as she tries to fight her own tears.

There's a knock on the door. They all automatically freeze, as though caught doing something they shouldn't, and Beau's muscles tense, ready to spring apart from them, but Jester holds on tighter. She's stronger than Fjord and Beau and they will **stay with her**. She wants to get all of her emotions out, the bad and the good, and to go back to loving them both so dearly without a hint of shame or deeper, darker, angrier parts of her creeping in. She doesn't want them leaving, no matter who is at the door.

"Yes?" Jester says, high-pitched and inflecting happy into her voice. "Who is it??"

"Jester?" Another high-pitched voice responds, familiar and sending happy feelings in Jester's tummy. "Can I come in?"

"Of course you can, Nott!" Jester replies, "But wait just a second I'm nakedddd!" Beau makes to move but Jester keeps a tight grip and turns to look at her. There is fear in Beau's eyes. Fear to be discovered. She'd been alright when Fjord had come in, but that was because Jester knew that out of everyone in the Nein, she, Beau and Fjord had trusted each other first. That if Fjord saw her like this, she had decided that she was okay with that. Nott, on the other hand, was a different story.

"Beau, please, stay. For me." Jester says. "I don't want to be away from you guys right now."

Beau scowls, looking like she might protest, but instead she curls her other hand, the one not still holding onto Fjord, and wraps it around Jester's wrist, tight.

"Thank you." Jester says, leaning forward to nose at Beau's hair. Beau's dark skin darkens a little but otherwise she doesn't make anymore sudden movements. Jester looks up at Fjord. "Are you okay with me inviting Nott?"

Fjord had been watching them. He hadn't moved from his position at Beau's shoulder since the knock at the door. He looks much calmer than when he'd entered. "S'alright with me."

"Ok!" She says, loud enough for Nott to hear. "You can come in now I'm decent!"

The door creaks a little as it opens. Nott's ears and little head peek through, her expression solemn until she catches sight of the tangle of limbs that is Fjord, Jester and Beau. Her face instantly changes into embarrassment. "Oh! I didn't want to bother you!"

Jester turns around in Beau and Fjord's hold of her so that she can face Nott. She uses her free hand to beckon to Nott. "You are not intruding Nott! Of course you are not! I invited you and Beau and Fjord are okay with you coming in, I asked them, and I want you here."

Nott sniffles. "Are you sure?"

Jester beckons again with a smile. "You saved my life, Nott. I love you, of course I want you with me!"

Nott rubs her cheek, still scratched and dotted with dried blood and launches herself at Jester. Nott's tiny body collides and Jester giggles as she wraps Nott up in a tight hug against her chest.

"I'm so happy you're okay! I wanted to save you so bad, I thought that was the only thing I could do, I'm so sorry for almost getting you hurt!" Nott rambles.

"No, no, Nott, you did everything. I got away because of you." Jester says, pressing a kiss to Nott's hair. Nott laughs, smothering her voice in Jester's shirt. Beau and Fjord watch from Jester's other side. Nott blinks and pulls her face away, glancing over at Beau and Fjord, her expression briefly embarrassed before it hardens a little.

"Why did you leave Jester?" She asks, curling her arms around Jester's neck in a protective way. Beau begins to bristle and Jester opens her mouth to tell Nott it's okay but Fjord's calm voice settles over them all.  

"You're right to be mad at us, Nott. I'm surprised Jester isn't. Beau didn't mean to leave, it was an accident, but yeah, I did leave knowin' that Jester was still there." His eyes look away and his hand reaches up to fiddle with his tusks. One of his claws begins to scrape at the tooth. It looks like he's doing it unconsciously, the scrape, scrape, loud in the silent room.  Fjord's face doesn't flinch but they all watch as his claw pulls at the tusk in what can only be a painful way. Jester wants to grab his hand and pull it away. Beau even looks disconcerted and Nott's face is beginning to look worried.

"Fjord." Nott says, bringing him back. Fjord blinks, looks down at his claw and then smiles in an almost abashed way. "Ah. sorry 'bout that. Habit." He tongues his tooth, coming away with a bit of blood before he says quietly. "You got every right to be mad at me, Nott. I abandoned you, Jester. And you, Nott, and Caleb. And Twiggy. I got no right to say otherwise."

"Fjord." Jester begins but Nott cuts her off, looking determined.

"You're right. You did leave us." Fjord nods, his face looks like a man who has accepted his fate. "But I also know that that was a dragon." Nott continues. "And... dragons are scary and powerful and really, really big. So I get it." Fjord nods again, slowly this time, but his face still looks the same. Nott stares at him, growing frustrated. "I'm saying I get it, understand!? Why you ran. That doesn't mean it was right, or that you should be forgiven, but I get it." Fjord nods again, but now his brow is furrowed in disbelief. Nott huffs. "I don't forgive you. But, if Jester says you're okay, then okay. I'll deal with it." She pauses. "As long as you apologize to Jester."

"He did, Nott. First thing." Jester says, clutching Nott closer to her and looking up at Fjord. She does forgive him, Fjord, after everything they have together, and the Nein too, how could she not? But she knows that it still hurts, looking at him and remembering, and that might take longer to go away. Forgiveness, though, that can start the healing process. "I do forgive you, Fjord." She says, so he knows too. His mouth parts and his expression changes, very subtly but Jester has known him the longest and she can tell that her words have made an impact.

Nott looks up at Jester and then nods. She snuggles closer to Jester, looking back up at Fjord, yellow eyes meeting yellow.

"And apologize to Caleb. And me. And Twiggy." She adds.

"Okay, Nott." Fjord says. He breathes out once, hand moving up to his mouth and Nott cuts in fiercely. "And promise not to pick at your tusks. Cause that's gross, and painful." She glares at his hand like it personally offends her.

Fjord looks down at his hand and chuckles weakly. "That's a tall order, but I'll do my best."

"You'd better." Nott mutters, pressing as close as she can to Jester.

"Where's Caleb?" Jester asks, snuggling Nott back.

Nott hums, her ears flicking this way and that. "I left him asleep in the room. I wanted to come see you before I went back to bed."

"Do you think," Jester starts, wondering. She glances at Fjord and Beau, who are both looking at her too, to finish. "Do you think you could ask him to sleep in here? With us? Caduceus and Yasha too."

"I can ask." Nott says. "Why?"

Jester kisses Nott's forehead and Nott giggles. "I want to have everyone together. I think... I think that would be good. For everyone." _For me_. She doesn't say.

Nott nods, hugging Jester close and then pulling away to stand up. Her eyes are intelligent and Jester can tell that Nott seems to know what Jester hadn't said. Nott looks at Fjord and Beau, who don't protest. They are both still looking at Jester, and Jester can feel their gazes on her and she smiles at them, reassuringly. "I'm okay, I am, I just want everyone close."

"I get it." Fjord says, nodding.

"If that's what you want, Jester, I have no reason to say no." Beau says, stiffly, but squares her shoulders and sighs, smirking. "It'll be funny to see how we can all fit in the same room, though."

"I'll go get everyone." Nott says, turning and leaving the room.

Jester rolls over so she can face Fjord and Beau again, tentative. Fjord has closed his eyes and is leaning his chin on his arm, not quite looking restful enough to be sleeping but calmer than before. Beau looks more tense than when Nott had entered, wary, but she doesn't move away when Jester takes her hand.

"Are you okay with this, Beau?" Jester asks again.

Beau flops down and grabs the covers so they hide her head and body. Her hand doesn't let go of Jester's. "Yeah, it's fine." She says, gruffly. "I'm going to sleep now."

Jester laughs and curls a little closer. Fjord, without opening his eyes, moves his hand so that it touches her, gently cupping her cheek. Jester reaches up to place her free hand on Fjord's against her skin. "I really do forgive you." She whispers to him. He nods, without opening his eyes, and keeps his hand there.   

 

Nott returns eventually with Caduceus, Yasha and even more eventually, Caleb. By that time, Beau has drifted off, Fjord is snoring and Jester is nearly half asleep herself. 

There's a bit of shuffling, Beau growls a bit about being woken up, but they all settle into a little bit of something. A something that Jester had been hoping for, had been hoping for a long time. A something that she had whispered about to The Traveler, and been distraught about losing after Molly. A something that changed when Caduceus entered the pictured. 

It was still too early, and there were still too many things between them all for it to really work, but, it was a start.  

 

Jester is pressed up against Beau and Nott, Nott's head on her chest and Beau's shoulder touching hers. Fjord is a solid weight hovering over Beau, his arm caught between hers and just barely touching Jester's neck. Yasha is leaning against the wall, facing the door, her eyes half-lidded, ready for danger; though not close enough to touch, her gaze is as gentle and protective as any of her caresses would be, Jester thinks. Caduceus is a furry pink blur above Jester's head, his long torso and body long enough to stretch the length of them. He offered to be the pillow, and though Fjord was reluctant, Jester and Beau had taken advantage with apt speed. Caleb is a tight curl on Nott's side, his body perfectly placed so he isn't touching anyone, and Jester wants to bridge that tiny gap between them--cross it and hold out a hand, beckon him over to the other side, where they are all waiting for him, but she knows that Caleb's boundaries are important too, and he'll take her hand when he's ready. For now, she watches as Nott reaches out and clings tightly to Caleb's hand and Caleb's hand squeezes hers back. _For now_ , Jester thinks, _it's perfect_.  

    


End file.
